Tag Archives: Travel

October 28, 2015

My Toronto Blue Jays Stories Volume 4

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

5 Jay Games in Vegas

Did I pledge to write 10 of these Blue Jay blogs??? Yeah that must have been when they were still in it. I’ve spent the last few days picking my broken heart up off the floor, and am back to try to fulfill that ridiculous promise. Man, I must have thought they playoffs would last forever. 10 blogs???

Today I will do a little bit of cross promotion. I do have another blog. It’s a Las Vegas travel blog actually. Some of you have read it, and judging from the stats, most of you haven’t. That’s cool. I understand how weird it must be to be a Las Vegas enthusiast. If you were to click over to http://www.paymevegas.com you will probably notice that I don’t get to write in that one nearly as often. The reason? I just can’t justify going to Vegas as often as I’d like to go, but I do go to Vegas a fair bit by most people’s standards. In fact, I just returned from a week-long journey, so Pay Me Vegas will have some new content shortly.

As happy as I am to watch the Toronto Blue Jays in the playoffs, even I would have to admit that they did everything in their power to hijack our Vegas itinerary. I remember when the playoff schedule came out and I mentioned to my wife that they might have some games that I absolutely MUST watch while we’re there. Maybe just one. There did exist a scenario where there would be five in total. Guess which scenario played itself out? This required a lot of patience and understanding from my wife. Not that she doesn’t love the Jays too. It’s just that I have a 3-year old (who was still 2 at the time) who really doesn’t give a shit about baseball unless it’s an excuse to have me pick him up from his crib well past his bed time….. oh yeah, under those circumstances, he’s fan #1. The boy needs to be monitored/entertained during all waking hours. This made things awkward, because if I need 3 or more hours of focus and attention towards a ballgame, then my wife gets stuck on kid duty for that length of time 5 out of the 7 days we’re there. Possibly making matters worse is the time change. These playoff games were played at 4pm EST most of the time, which is 1pm Vegas time. That’s right smack in the middle of the day. This is the story of how I managed to watch all 5 games.

Oct 11/2015 Game 3 of the ALDS

We were down 2-0 in a best of 5 series against the Rangers. The Sunday game was at 8pm EST which was 5pm in Vegas. This was huge for me because I flew in that day, and would have been crushed if the Blue Jays played an elimination game while I was in an airplane, or getting fucked by Thrifty Car Rental (that story another time). We had time to get to the hotel, have dinner, get settled, well before the game started. While I wanted to have cool/obnoxious stories to tell to my friends about where I watched the game (Hey man, where are you? On your couch?? Cool! I’m sitting on a patio overlooking the strip in Vegas in a t-shirt, is it cold there? etc……….), I was perfectly happy to watch the first game in the hotel. Our room had a good-sized TV, a bunch of channels on digital cable, and a comfortable couch to sit on (we were at a time-share, so we had a condo unit, which was perfect for still being able to watch the game after the boy went to sleep). 5pm rolls around, and I grab the remote, and start flipping through the channels. There were like 50 or more channels. I didn’t see the game anywhere. It must have been on commercial. I flipped through again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. They’re gonna throw the first pitch in a minute. I think it’s on FS1. I don’t know these channels, what channel is that? I’m looking at a chart with the channels, and it’s saying FS1 is channel 5-1, but when I flip past with the remote, it skips over. I’m in full freak out mode. There’s an elimination game being played and I can’t get the goddamned channel? It’s a playoff game. Isn’t baseball America’s pastime? I’m in America! I won’t stand for this. So my wife manages to get the game on the radio on her iPad while I call the front desk asking what the trick is for getting FS1 on the TV. They even sent a guy who came and flipped through the channels just like I had 3 times already, only to tell me that they don’t get that channel, and sometime during that my wife goes to the store to get some supplies. So there I am with my son watching cartoons with the Blue Jay game on the radio, losing my mind with every pitch. This was not sustainable. I was going to have to go to the bar. My wife came back and it was the 3rd inning. I texted one of my buddies and asked him to message me a play by-play while I walked to the nearest bar. Even though I was staying off the strip, I was located pretty close to the new Linq Promenade. I found a bar as soon as I walked in. A huge one called Yard House, which I was familiar with, and hoping to go to because of its vast beer selection, but I could see all the TVs had Sunday night football on. Yes, early season NFL games between 2 non-playoff teams trumps playoff baseball in the United States. Can’t believe it. The next place was called the Tilted Kilt, and I saw it had the game on, but was packed (it was the Sunday before Memorial Day, so a long weekend in the States meant busy bars). I walked up close to the window to at least see the score and inning. As I got close, I saw someone get up from their seat at the bar. I ran inside, sat down and ordered a Sam Adams. Phew! Disaster averted. I was there about 30 minutes before Troy Tulowitzki hit his 3-run homer to give us a commanding lead in the game. I could tell who the Canadians were when the table in the far corner went ape-shit after it happened. Jays win. If Jays lose, series over, and probably a better vacation.

Oct 12/2015 Game 4 of the ALDS

Down 2-1 in the series, we had another elimination game. This time it’s a 1pm start in Vegas which is right in the middle of the day. Our plan was to go to the Planet Hollywood Hotel after our lunch at Bobby Flay’s burger restaurant. The boy usually takes a nap at that time, and my wife figured she could push him around the Miracle Mile Shops and shop while he slept. I could then go to the lounge in the Planet Hollywood Casino, where at 1pm on a Monday, it wasn’t too busy. Now if the boy slept for 3.5 hours, we totally could have pulled this off. Luckily the game was a bit of a laugher, with the Jays scoring a bunch of runs early, and getting good pitching as well. When he did wake up, we went to Garrett’s Popcorn, and got what I maintain is the best popcorn in the entire universe. We were able to sit outside a bar (which is outside the concert venue where there is a Brittany Spears concert just about every night for those that find that appealing), and watch the end of the game. Jays win.

Oct 14/2015 Game 5 of the ALDS

The series is tied 2-2, and back in Toronto after 2 games in Texas. This game decides who advances and who goes home. We decide to go to Mandalay Bay on this day. The Shark Reef Aquarium was something kid friendly on our agenda, and maybe something that my wife and son could check out while I obsess about the fate of my Toronto Blue Jays. We decided to have lunch there. I saw an Irish Pub called Ri Ra in the shopping area. We ascertained that the game was on TV, and went in for lunch. It was Wednesday and I was already ordering salads. Everytime I go to Vegas, we just keep having epic meal after epic meal, and sometimes my body just stops wanting food. It’s those times that I know if I see a good-looking salad on the menu, order it and live to fight another day. I had a Guinness IPA for all you beer fans. Apparently this was a limited edition, but it was crazy. It had that smooth texture, but totally tasted like an IPA. So weird, but good. I’m sure they’ll have them everywhere soon. This game was kind of nerve-wracking. My son doesn’t have the attention span to sit in a restaurant for too long, so we watched a few innings, and then I needed to do a location change. What would happen in between the Irish Pub, and my final destination? Would some legendary baseball play happen that Jay fans would remember for all of eternity, and I would miss it? We were boogeying down to the Mandalay Bay Sportsbook, where I would finish watching on TV while my wife and son went to the aquarium. I walked past a hobby store and saw Pete Rose in there signing autographs. I wanted to just go in there and tell him that I think he’s awesome even though he’s been treated like a steaming pile of shit over the last 25 years or so, but I didn’t have time to stop. I went to the washroom and came out. Texas had scored the go-ahead run on a Russell Martin throwing error that was one of the most bizarre plays in MLB playoff history. Luckily they replayed it 5,219 times or I would have really missed out. Then a few minutes later it happened. Easily a top 5 moment in Toronto Blue Jay history, when Jose Bautista hit a home run that gave us the lead in the game and series for good. It was weird because I was in public, but not with anyone, and I started jumping up and down like a 5-year-old. I guess it was one of those ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ moments. I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of me. I was just having a full on celebration by myself in a room full of people who were probably a little indifferent to the outcome of this game unless they bet on it. One guy came up to me and hugged me though. He must have been in the same situation as I was. It was a pretty joyous moment. I wished my wife was there with me, but she was looking after my son so I could enjoy that moment, and I’m forever grateful.

Oct 16/2015 Game 1 of the ALCS

The Jays were in Kansas City. In an effort to accommodate my son, we decided to go to Circus Circus. Our friend had flown in to join us for a couple of days, so we had an extra adult with us who was also a Jay fan. Again, my wife and son are off playing games, or doing whatever you do there. Our friend and I were in the Circus Circus Sportsbook suffering from second-hand smoke and mediocre beer. When my wife ran out of patience, we were happy to change locations. I hadn’t been to Circus Circus in years. There’s a reason for that, but I don’t like to be judgemental. It’s a good place for a certain crowd I suppose. Had the ventilation been better, I might not have minded it so much. Courtesy of our friend, we now had a rental car, so we drove back toward ‘home’ again, listening on the radio as we drove. We decided to go back to Linq Promenade, and gave the Yard House another try, which worked out great, since I love beer and they have fantastic food. The Jays didn’t fare so well. Royals win.

Oct 17/2015 Game 2 of the ALCS

Back to the Miracle Mile inside of Planet Hollywood. We went right back to that bar inside the mall near Brittany Spears. I drank a Pina Colada while my wife pushed my son around in the stroller. When he fell asleep, she brought him over. This bar was basically just a circle inside the mall. At the entrance there was a line where you couldn’t cross unless you were 21. I sat right beside it, and parked the stroller on the other side with my son fast asleep. This allowed my wife to go to the casino to do some gambling, which she hadn’t done much of up to that point. I was happy that I was able to watch the game and my son at the same time, so she could go have fun for a bit. This was looking like an awesome game. David Price was pitching a gem until the 7th inning when everything fell apart. Royals win.

All told, 5 games in Vegas was bittersweet. We won the first 3 and moved on to the ALCS. We lost the next 2 and would go on to lose the ALCS. I felt bad for the amount of time we spent working around those games, but at the same time, I think we did a lot of the things we wanted to do. I think I might owe my wife some additional consideration on our next trip. My son has already forgotten all about it I’m sure.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Stories, Uncategorized

September 16, 2013

Vienna Calling

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

I love vacations. Especially vacations that involve travelling to new places. What’s perhaps even better is looking back on vacations you’ve been on. I can’t speak for everyone, but when I’m looking back on things, my imagination makes them way better than they may have actually been. I’ll be looking at pictures, and even if I was outside freezing my ass off all day, I’ll be like ‘Isn’t the snow beautiful?’ Even if I spent half the evening arguing with my wife, I’ll be like ‘Wasn’t that an amazing buffet?’

Last Monday my wife and I were having lunch, (just before my ill-fated trip to Teavana which I blogged about last week) and reminiscing about our trip to Vienna, Austria. It was our honeymoon after all (mind you, we took a road trip to New York and Boston, post-wedding, pre-Austria, and while we had a blast, we decided it was NOT our honeymoon). Vienna is a bit sexier to talk about from a honeymoon perspective, and neither of us had ever been there. In fact, we hadn’t been to Europe together at all. We decided to do it as a little mini-trip for 4 days. Loyal readers, let me assure you that this is the dumbest possible idea, and you should never try it yourself. It’s totally not worth the airfare or jet lag to only stay for 4 days. I thought there were a few things about Vienna that I’d like to share with you. Not that I want to turn this into a travel blog or anything, but I don’t have anything that I’m really fired up about right now.

– When we got to the airport after flying overnight on Austrian Airlines (which we liked), we had to go through customs. The customs officer looked at our passports, looked at us and said ‘have a good day’. I’m so used to going to the States and feeling like I’m one shifty look away from being strip searched. They didn’t even ask us any questions in Austria. Nice.

– The hotel we stayed at was a boutique hotel that we got a great deal on since we were travelling in their ‘off season’ for tourism. It would have been crazy expensive. We took a cab there from a train station. When we told the cab driver where we were staying, he practically BEGGED us to let him take us somewhere else. We didn’t let him since it was already paid for, but we were curious to know why. In his opinion, and the opinions of a lot of the locals, this hotel was an abomination, and he was just doing his part to try to steer business away from them. Here’s the thing….. it was the most gorgeous hotel that I’ve ever stayed at. What’s interesting to me is the difference in attitude towards old vs new that Europeans have as opposed to North Americans. I don’t mean to paint everyone with the same brush here, but Vienna is a city very rich in history, and architecture that is centuries old. Their idea of new, is restoring something old, and I get that. In North America we level old buildings to build new buildings all the time. There are some places that are well restored and historical, but they’re few and far between. I get that too. I just found it interesting that a new hotel with a fairly artistic design could be so offensive to someone. Pictures don’t do it justice, but I’ll include a couple.

Outside of the hotel at night.

Outside of the hotel at night.

Simple, yet modern and elegant.

Simple, yet modern and elegant.

From an inside lounge area at night looking out to the city.

From an inside lounge area at night looking out to the city.

– Something Vienna is definitely known for is the coffee shops. For every Tim Horton’s in Canada or Dunkin Donuts in the States, Europe seems to have a ‘one of a kind’, amazing coffee shop with incredible baked goodies. You almost can’t throw a baseball in Vienna without hitting three of them. There were no drive-thru shops that I could see either. The emphasis seems to be ‘come in and sit down… enjoy your coffee and cigarette, and leave when you’re ready’. A way different lifestyle than ‘hurry the fuck up, I’m late for work’. One I could get used to perhaps.

– Final thought was I wonder if I’ll hear any Falco on the radio. As a nerd for 80’s music trivia, I of course remember the Austrian pop star who’s most famous hit was ‘Rock Me Amadeus’, and his follow-up single ‘Vienna Calling’ (which I borrowed for this blog title… did anyone get that?) seemed to be the song that was going through my head for 4 days while in the city. Falco is the biggest international pop star to ever come out of Austria, and if you’re curious, I DID actually hear a Falco song on the radio while I was there. I was sad to learn that he had died in a car crash in 1998. R.I.P. Falco!!!!

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March 25, 2013

Vegan Or Vegas? I’ve Made My Choice!!

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

If you take the word Vegan and replace the n with an s, you are left with the word Vegas. I fully support all Vegans in their endeavors (to do whatever it is they do….be healthy….not kill animals etc), and in no way is this blog meant to poke fun at them. That being said, I love meat, and I love Las Vegas! Some times when I hear the word Vegan in a sentence, it kind of bums me out because it’s food related, but there’s no meat involved. Then when I replace the n with an s, it brightens up my day.

I’m strongly considering writing a Vegas travel blog. I spend enough time trying to convince people to go to Vegas, and I don’t get paid for it. This blog (if I do it) will be a social/finance experiment to see if by writing enough positive reviews, and helping Vegas tourism, I’ll be able to get my Vegas trips paid for. Stay tuned!

I wanted to find the word Vegan used in sentences. Since none of the sentences coming out of my mouth ever have the word Vegan in them, I had to consult other sources. When I googled the word Vegan, I saw a website called http://www.vegan.com. I assume if they’ve been around long enough to secure that URL, then they must have some good Vegan content.

On this site I saw a list of cookbooks, and converted the names to suit my own needs. 8 of the top 10 titles had the word Vegan in them.

Would you buy THESE cookbooks????

99 cent Vegas Guide
Betty Goes (to) Vegas
Quick Fix Vegas
Vegas Cooking for Carnivores
Vegas for Life
The 30-Minute(s in) Vegas
Vegas on the Cheap
Vegas Sandwiches Save the Day

The website’s main page has a headline that says ‘Vegas Living Is Easy and Delicious’

After 308 words I’m starting to feel guilty about poking fun at the Vegans. Especially since I referenced somebody’s website without permission, and bastardized some of the content, and will probably tag this post with the word Vegan. So let me balance it out a bit.

I appreciate Vegans because they are more of a ‘Knowledge is Power’ crowd than ‘Ignorance is Bliss’. They see something morally wrong with eating meat or animal products, or perhaps are convinced of certain health benefits that accompany that lifestyle. It’s very honorable in a lot of ways. Everybody probably knows that animals are generally not treated well, but people like myself try not to think about it because the greasy satisfying deliciousness that is meat has got a hold on my desires. I’m uncomfortable dealing with the guilt associated with my choices. So whenever I talk to a Vegan I usually (jokingly) trivialize their lifestyle and talk about bacon, but the truth is I admire their strength and conviction. So I encourage all of the Vegans (aspiring and otherwise) reading this post to go to http://www.vegan.com and to re-read my post and put the ‘n’ back in Vegan.

As for the rest of you…… I encourage you to book a trip to Las Vegas. Keep a watch out for my new Vegas blog, which now that I’m officially announcing, I guess I’ll have to go through with it. This is how I trick myself into doing stuff. By announcing my intentions to the world, so I get shamed into productivity. Oh if only there was an easier way. (For those fans of thoughts and rants in jogging pants, fear not! I will not do a Vegas blog to the exclusion of this, I will do in addition.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash baby shit off a sleeper.

6 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Uncategorized

June 25, 2012

Vegas Baby!!

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

There are a lot of misconceptions about Las Vegas….. Some of which are true!

I have an unexplainable love for Las Vegas.  Let me explain.  I just got back from my 5th trip there.  I was there for a week.  The cab driver on the way back to the airport said ‘whoa, a week is a long time to be in Vegas’.  Maybe if you don’t pace yourself.  I could stay for 2 or 3 weeks.  I love it.  When I say I’ve been there 5 times, it may or may not sound like a lot to you, but it wasn’t like I spread those visits out over my entire life.  They’ve all been in the last 5 years or so.  After I first went, I’ve used any excuse to go.  ‘Engagement Trip’, ‘Bachelor Party’, ‘Babymoon’.  I would consider the following reasonable excuses as well….. ‘March Madness’, ‘Any other type of general madness’, ‘extra vacation days’, ‘good report card’, ‘bad report card’, ‘boredom’, ‘intense desire for a prime rib dinner that costs less than $10’……. I could go on and on.  Perhaps I will……’tax refund’, ‘tax evasion’, ‘spending your kids education fund after they pissed you off’, ‘to watch in disgust as the Miami Heat win the NBA finals’…. these and many more are all acceptable answers.

I once considered becoming a blogger (which I’ve done and you’re witnessing it), but my first idea was to be a travel blogger who specialized in Las Vegas.  Yes, I was willing to go exclusive with my blogs, and focus on one topic ALL the time.  Then I thought if my blog was popular and awesome (don’t steal this idea btw, because as I’m rethinking it, I might still do it), that the city of Las Vegas would hire me as part of their travel and tourism team.  Not to create brochures and pamphlets either, but to convince individuals one by one to go there (which I already spend at least half my time doing).  If you know me at all, we’ve had this conversation before, and if you haven’t gone, I’ve made you curious.

Having just landed from there a couple of days ago, here are some scattered thoughts/ideas/anecdotes inspired by Las Vegas.  I’m gonna have to go point form with this…..  It’s that random!

– Food.  Whether you are on a budget or you have money to burn, there is something there for you.  Every celebrity chef, and his brother have restaurants in Vegas.  It’s probably the most concentrated area in the world for fine dining (I’m making this up, it totally might not be).  There is amazing food there every direction you turn.  Flavours from all over the world!!  If that doesn’t interest you, there really are Prime Rib Dinners for less than $10.  I actually cracked my tooth on one a couple of years ago (but that had nothing to do with the quality of the meal, I’m just sayin’).  Some of my culinary highlights include the smoked salmon Eggs Benedict at Mon Ami Gabi inside the Paris Hotel.  The waiter that had a guacamole cart at the Mexican place at the MGM Grand (name anyone?), brought it over and made guacamole in front of us while carrying on a conversation.  Also at Paris in an Italian restaurant a few years ago, the waiters would sing an opera song every 15 minutes or so, then go back to waiting tables (I don’t know if that place is still there).  Who could forget $4.99 Steak & Eggs at Ellis Island (don’t know if they still do that or not, but go for the big portions, and great hash browns).

– Booze.  First thing you need to know is that you can drink on the streets.  This is important, because if you’re casino hopping, you don’t have to set your unfinished drink down to leave the hotel.  You just bring it with you and drink on the sidewalk without the shame of a paper bag.  There are intense sized slushy drinks that in some cases need a rope so you can carry it around your neck.  This is incredibly unrefined, and can lead to bad behaviour, but you can’t expect a bunch of drunks to behave themselves.  That’s just silly.  I’m a beer guy, and if you are too, then you’ll appreciate $2 Coronas and Heinekens all day at the Fremont Hotel.  The Yard House in Town Square has over 200 beers on tap (try the Belgian sampler which was the final nail in the coffin for me last Thursday).  If you’re really a beer guy, and don’t give a shit about anything else, the Freakin’ Frog near UNLV is the spot.  You’re cabbin’ it if you’re on the strip, but the selection is worth it.

– Comps.  Do yourself a favour and sign up for a loyalty program or 5 the minute you get to Vegas.  Every time you play cards or a slot machine or any other game, give them the card and let them track that shit.  If you sit at a table long enough, someone will bring you a free drink, but that’s negligible since you’re pouring your life savings into their pockets at a much faster rate than if you paid for your own booze, but……when you’ve gone there a few times like I have, they start contacting you, and offering free hotel stays.  As you become a Vegas addict, this comes in handy.  Now let me be clear……. I didn’t do this, so I’ve never been comped anything, but the story I’m about to tell you is true.  I won’t mention any names to protect the innocent, and so you won’t try to start hanging out with her for free hookups!!  My buddy’s girlfriend is a savvy Vegas veteran of the getting comped scene.  She’s forgotten more about getting comps than I will ever know.  The two of them arrived last Wednesday, and my wife and I met them at the Cosmopolitan after they arrived there from the airport (which was in a limo that the hotel sent btw).  We sat in the VIP check in room where they gave us Mimosas and apologized profusely about the wait (which really wasn’t that long, but it gave me a glimpse of how customer service could be if everyone thought you were rich).  Then they gave her $500 of comped chips to gamble with (which on her first spin at roulette became $950) and $500 food credit at the hotel which we turned into a fabulous couple of meals at the hotel restaurants.  This however, pales in comparison to the massive suite that they stayed in, with a corner balcony that over looked the strip, and particularly the Bellagio water fountains (not to mention the pissy little ‘off the strip’ hotel that I was staying in).  How did this happen???  She signed up for a card, and used it every time she went to Vegas.  The comps start out small, but this was her 11th trip there.  She had to gamble some to get it, but she’s no high roller.  Just a smart enough person (unlike myself) who takes advantage of a good loyalty program.  Remember, an empty hotel room doesn’t generate revenue for a hotel.  Comping the chips only costs them if the customer uses them to win money (which is usually not the case), and whatever the food and service cost is for $500 worth of food is nothing compared to what they’ll probably make off you if you go there with your friends regularly.  Look into it.  It’s awesome!

I haven’t even mentioned the bars, nightclubs, the women in their slutty outfits (even the ones who shouldn’t be wearing what they’re wearing for whatever reason….. I admire your courage), my beloved UNLV Runnin’ Rebels (who I’ve worked into back to back blogs), the Las Vegas 51s (AAA minor league affiliate of my beloved Toronto Blue Jays), the 24 hour buffet pass, the 24 hour bus, Red Rock, the energy sucking but loveable tackiness of Fremont Street, Microbreweries (did I mention being a beer guy?), wedding chapels, shopping (both outlet and boutique), concerts, Cirque du Soleil shows, magicians, comedians, hotel swimming pools, places to do stuff from golf to firing machine guns…….. man I wanna go back.

Pay me Las Vegas!!!

 

 

8 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Uncategorized

April 30, 2012

Hot Tub Time Share Machine

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

Hey all……

I’m on Vacation in Orlando!  Yay for me 🙂  I didn’t know if I’d get a chance to write a blog or not, since there is sun to be lying in, pools to be swimming in, and theme parks to be gauged at (financially of course).  Luckily (for me) we are staying at a time share resort, and if you are familiar with those arrangements, you’ll have probably already sat through one of their sales pitches (information sessions as they like to call it).  I didn’t think that I’d be able to get a blog in this week (breaking a 2 week streak of successfully doing so), but due to the heroic efforts of my wife, and in-laws (who are sitting through a presentation as we speak), I was able to get an hour of free time with the lap top.  So if you end up taking a liking to my musings of the day, please take some time to think about the sacrifices that were made by others to make this happen as well as ensure that we secured a reasonable rental rate for inflatable tubes for the duration of our stay.

As you read more of my blogs and some of my crusty disposition comes out a little more, you might be surprised to know that I am a sucker for theme parks, and particularly susceptible to the charms of Disney.  I would go as far as saying it’s ‘magical’ (a word I’ve used to describe BBQ, and bowel movements…… but only the very best ones).  As a guy who’s afraid of heights, I enjoy the slow-moving detailed approach to Disney.  It’s not a bunch of big, fast, high rollercoasters.  It’s little carts slowly moving through a lazy river of meticulous detail, from the way the characters mouths move in sync with the music, to the mist they spray on the back of your neck to make a fake jungle seem like a real jungle.  It’s parades in the street with dancing Goofies and fireworks and candy apples.  It’s photo ops with stuffed animals, balloons, and happiness.  IF THEY COULD TAKE HAPPINESS AND SHOOT IT INTO YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE VEINS, only then could you possibly, maybe understand a bit of what Disney is all about……….I just read this back to myself…..what a loser!  Anyways, it’s fun and I’m looking forward to that tomorrow.  Today is all about the inflatable tubes.  Swimming will never be the same.

On another note, if you’ve been following this blog since it’s inception (2 weeks ago), maybe you noticed that I changed the layout.  I’m not really good at this stuff so I took one of the pre-selected options.  I think this one is called ‘Elegant Grunge’.  That sounds so cool.  I don’t know what the other one was called, but if I was commissioned to make a name for it, I would call it “Kid eats way too much fucking cotton candy, washes down with cream soda and projectile vomits”.

My Mom’s birthday is tomorrow…. Happy Birthday Mom!!

R

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