Tag Archives: Paparazzi

February 24, 2014

Atlanta, This Is Unbeliebable!

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

Ok, so I heard people in Atlanta are marching in protest against Justin Bieber moving into their neighborhood. Wow. I have some thoughts on this. I’ve avoided commenting on Justin Bieber up to this point. It’s evident that things have been spinning out of control for some time now. They say you should write what you know. I don’t know Justin Bieber. I couldn’t even name one of his songs, and I’m only sort of aware of his hairstyles. I don’t know Atlanta either. I’ve been there a couple of times on business, but didn’t stay long enough to do much. This piece required a lot of research on my part (and by a lot I mean 20 minutes of Google search). The reason being is that I wanted to comment on this, but I don’t have any room in my ‘long-term’ memory for anything I hear about Justin Bieber.

During my research, I found out that Atlanta does protest a few things from time to time. The easiest protests to find on Google were…..

– A protest involving the George Zimmerman verdict.

– An abortion protest.

– A protest against the Police raiding a Gay Bar called the Atlanta Eagle.

– The People For Ethical Treatment Of Animals protesting Atlanta’s Pride Week kick off party being at the Georgia Aquarium because the loud Katy Perry music upsets the Whales (I am absolutely not making this up, but I am paraphrasing).

The most articles regarding Atlanta protests are about a group of residents in an upscale neighborhood protesting a potential move to Atlanta by Justin Bieber. The group claims that this move will lower their property value, which remains to be seen. They feel that it won’t be good for their children to grow up in the same neighborhood where Justin Bieber lives. One concern was that he might drive at high speeds while intoxicated (like he’s the only one in your neighborhood who could potentially do that). I think protests are funny anyways. I wonder if they think they could stop this from happening. Probably not, but maybe they could get on the news. Yeah, that’s something to shoot for.

After looking up Atlanta protest information, I still couldn’t form an opinion on this. I needed to brush up on my Justin Bieber information. This was way more fun. Just to name a few things, this guy was caught with drugs and a stun gun in Sweden…..caught flack for his comments in the Anne Frank house guest book….kicked a paparazzi….got his monkey confiscated……pissed in a mop bucket at a bar……is up on DUI charges. That’s actually way more stuff than I had realized. Pretty impressive rap sheet for someone his age. The thing with Justin Bieber is that he’s still only 19. When I list off the things that have happened to him, it doesn’t really seem that ridiculous to me. This guy has had more money than he can count since he was 16. That usually doesn’t end well from a behavioral perspective. Here are some of my favorite offences, and why I don’t think they’re that big of a deal.

1. He got caught with drugs and a stun gun in his car in Sweden…….. 90% of people who are famous at that age that aren’t being micro managed by their parents have drugs on them. Careless to have public possession in a foreign country? 90% of people who are famous at that age that aren’t being micro managed by their parents are careless. Stun gun??? If you had access to a stun gun with no foreseeable consequences at that age, wouldn’t you have one? I beliebe you would! It would be stunning!

2. He signed Anne Frank’s guest book……. In 3 sentences he said 2 nice things, and then 1 ignorant thing. I beliebe this one to be well-intentioned, but poorly executed. I thought the outrage over this was hilarious. Give me a break people. It’s that kind of attention that leads a kid to think…. ‘wow, I matter to people this much???’ Which just leads to more craziness. This is the case of the media making a non-story a great story.

3. He kicked a paparazzi……. He wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last. Paparazzi for gossip magazines are probably the most loathsome, annoying people in the world. What celebrity worth their weight in hairspray hasn’t kicked a paparazzi?

4. He got his monkey confiscated…… Yeah, clearly not ready to be a parent. Also, monkey ownership is saved for the pop-elite, but I’m pretty sure Michael Jackson was well into his 20s before he got Bubbles. If you’re criticizing Bieber for having a monkey, get real! At the rate he’s experiencing life, there’s no conceivable way that he wasn’t due for monkey ownership.

5. He pissed in a mop bucket at a bar……. Well before the era of YouTube I’ve seen many a guy piss in many a container not designed to hold such fluid. In fact I’ve seen worse. I remember a buddy of mine puking in a bathroom sink (yes he was less than 10 feet from a toilet), and when the bouncers were escorting him out of the bar, he was yelling “I’m not hurting anyone!!!!” Ask any security guy at any bar in the world if he hasn’t seen worse behaviour from drunks than pissing in a bucket. At least it was in a bucket!!! Now, I’m not saying people should piss in mop buckets because they’re too lazy or drunk to walk all the way to the washroom, but if he’s not famous, that’s practically a non-issue. Happens all the time.

6. Drove a car too fast when he was drinking……. He shouldn’t do it. No excuse for it. Who’s gonna tell him to stop? He’s bigger than he should be. You the public made him that way. He’s surrounded by a bunch of misbehaving ‘yes men’ who all have too much money, too much access, at too young an age, with not enough consequence. Oh and by the way America, maybe he watched all 6 ‘Fast & Furious’ movies that you’ve supported and glorified, or maybe he watches NASCAR every weekend like you do, and felt the need for speed.

My opinion? I don’t blame Atlanta for not wanting him in their neighborhood. Do you know how hard it is to clean eggs off your windows? I also don’t blame Justin Bieber for being the way he is. He was sent out into the world before he was mature enough to handle it. For the record, there are well-informed people at the peak of their lives that couldn’t handle the money, fame and scrutiny that he’s under. Nobody is trying to help him. He probably doesn’t know yet that he needs help. We’re just perpetuating it by paying attention to his every move. The more attention we pay, the more money he makes, and that delays his inevitable flame out. The general public loves a human pinata. People love to judge, but the reality is that most people don’t even have the option of being this kind of train wreck. You can’t just go buy a fast car, or a monkey, or a trip to Sweden, all while still a teenager. That’s a special kind of screwed up that we can only fantasize about.

I’ve also heard that America would love to send him back to Canada. That’s cool. I mean, I’m sure he wasn’t this messed up when he went over there, but nonetheless, we’d be happy to part with Rob Ford in a one for one swap. As far as my personal feelings go, I don’t really care about him or his music, but I thought I’d stick up for him since nobody else seems to want to (other than the Beliebers, but I’m talking about grown adults). I probably won’t follow the Atlanta Real Estate story beyond today. I just find it interesting that this guy gets worse media than murderers, rapists, wife beaters and others. I just think the whole thing is sort of unbeliebable.

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July 23, 2013

Bitching About Royals

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

I’m not saying I don’t like Royal Babies. I just prefer regular babies. See what I did there? I didn’t even capitalize regular babies. The difference in how they’re being treated has started already. I’m obviously part of the problem.

I come from a family that’s FASCINATED by the British Royal Family (see how I capitalize??? I swear I’m not doing this on purpose). I’m really not though. Some of the longest days of my life have been spent watching coverage of either Royal Weddings or Royal Tragedies. I always seem to be stuck somewhere remote when these things happen, and there’s only one TV, and I’m not in charge of it, but I’m super bored, because as a kid, I was not into all of the Pomp and Circumstance (I wanted so badly to use that phrase, but rarely get the opportunity…… when I’m not sure about a phrase/word and whether I should use it in a blog or not, I like to look it up in some internet dictionary just to make sure it means what I think it means….. in this case according to Dictionary.com it means ‘splendid celebration with ceremony and fuss’ which is almost a better phrase than Pomp and Circumstance….. in fact, I really think you need to re-read the sentence again and substitute, and let me know which one you like better…..I will be equally satisfied with both of your choices), and as an adult, not much has changed, and I just feel trapped and manipulated all day.

The thing I hate the most about these celebration/tragedies is the coverage. You can’t just watch it once and be done with it. It goes on and on and on like the OJ trial. Let’s show it again and again. Let’s break down every aspect through detailed analysis. This isn’t football!! I know you kids are like, ‘so what, watch something on your phone or laptop if you’re bored.’ THERE WERE NO PHONE AND LAPTOPS!!!!!! JUST BOREDOM!!! Now that I’m older, it doesn’t matter too much anymore because I can easily escape a situation where there is lots of Royal Coverage. I have a car, a bus pass, and 2 televisions, 2 computers and a cell phone. Damn, when I say it like that it sounds like I’m very well established. This might just be my ‘I HAVE ARRIVED’ moment!! My personal identity and how I define my freedom has now become deeply intertwined with my ability to dodge watching TV coverage of the British Royals.

I really don’t want to bitch too much about the Royals. To be perfectly honest, I have nothing against them. I only hear about them when they marry or breed or take pictures of their dicks. I really just wanted a) to have a blog topic which is getting harder every week, and b) to sit on my high horse and say some very judgemental things about the rest of you peasants.

1) Don’t be so fascinated by Royalty or famous people. They don’t care about you. This is a one way street. I’m sure everyone is interested to see the Royal Baby, but what about the Non-Royal babies? They need your attention too! Are the people in your life getting the ‘Royal Treatment’? If the world cared about each other the way they seem to care about what these people name their baby….. well you know the rest. The world wins!

2) When I refer to Royal Tragedy, you know which one I’m talking about. Princess Diana dies in a car accident because her and her new man were in a high-speed chase with Paparazzi. I remember thinking at the time that we were all to blame for supporting the gossip industry. I remember thinking ‘I’ll bet people will think twice before going out and buying another gossip magazine to see exclusive pictures of their favorite celebrities’………… Wrong again, as I always am when I give humanity the benefit of the doubt. Nothing changed, nothing solved, same old bullshit.

3) I really wanted to have a third thing, because 2 just isn’t worth listing off numerically. As you can see, I’m out of things to complain about. I will try to stretch this out a bit though, as I’m sure some bloggers are just skimming to the bottom anyways, so they can click the ‘like’ button and make me believe that they read the whole thing. Come on man….. we’ve all done it! Especially some of those long-winded ones. Those people will be blissfully unaware that I couldn’t come up with a third thing to finish my trifecta of Royalty Ramblings.

I hope the Royal Baby gets an appropriate name, and is happy and healthy, but more importantly I wish the same for all your Non-Royal Babies too!

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