Tag Archives: Mayor

Crack, Alcohol, Dishonesty With A Twist Of Ignorance – A Mayor’s Cocktail

I wish this were reality TV. The thing I like about reality TV is that I don’t have to watch it. I can change the channel, or just not watch TV. If I want to watch the News, or listen to the News, or read about the News, I cannot escape the reality TV that is the Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s life. When someone says to me that the Kardashian TV shows are stupid, I’m always quick to say that I wouldn’t know, because I don’t have time for that bullshit, and neither should they. I want to say the same thing about the Rob Ford saga. I really don’t have time for this bullshit. The only problem is that THIS is the News. I DO have a choice to not watch the news, but it’s a choice to be misinformed, unlike the choice to not watch the Kardashians….. a choice which made properly, I believe salvages some of my intelligence. Rob Ford is in my living room every day. He’s in my living room drunk, belligerent, defensive, dishonest, stammering, mumbling, and that’s just when he’s not allegedly on crack. There isn’t a day that goes by when this isn’t a huge story. I’m really tired of it.

I’m well past the point of caring if this man smoked crack or not. He either did or he didn’t. If he wasn’t representing our city, I wouldn’t even have a problem with it. It’s his life. It’s not about politics either. He could be doing a good job at City Hall for all I know. He says he’s doing a good job, and that must be enough for most of his supporters. A strong group of which don’t seem to care that he’s a walking embarrassment for the city. They were obviously the ones that voted him in. A surprising number of them are still really strong supporters of him too. They feel he’s being picked on. If anything, I think it’s making them relate to him more. I think it’s because there’s the whole Right Wing vs. Left Wing at play here. Of course individuals HAVE to be one or the other (God forbid we actually just voted for whoever we thought was the right person). Everybody LOVES to be on a team. This team is called Ford Nation! Yes, they actually have a team name. He repeatedly claims to be saving money for tax payers, but I don’t think you can save me enough money to compensate for the humiliation I feel when a hack like Jay Leno can make jokes at our expense.

The problem for me is that if there’s one person that truly represents a city, it’s the Mayor. Ours can’t stay out of trouble for more than 30 seconds. He’s only been in office for 3 years and at least 2 years and 11 months have been a shit show. So much so that the rest of the world has taken notice. For the EXTREMELY IGNORANT people who say ‘any press is good press’, let me remind you that he’s not an actor or a singer. He’s the Mayor. Bad press is bad press. It makes us look bad. We don’t need bad attention. The incidents that have occurred both major and minor are increasing in number. Where does he find the time to get into all this shit? It takes a lot of time to get into this much trouble! How does he do it?

I want a Mayor that can look people in the eye. I want a Mayor that can talk like an educated person. I want a Mayor that doesn’t get super hammered in public (just for the small percentage of his life that he happens to be Mayor, but if he wants to get smashed every other St. Patty’s day for the rest of his life, then fuck it, why not?). I want a Mayor that doesn’t smoke crack. I want a Mayor that handles adversity with grace, rather than getting into grade five-esque shouting matches with reporters. I want a Mayor who after causing a city such a heaping amount of embarrassment would have the good sense to step down. Most of all, I just want to be able to watch the news in the morning without having to see this moron, and his ridiculous shenanigans taking up precious valuable space in what’s left of my brain.

15 Minutes Of Furious Blogging

Oooops…… I forgot to blog yesterday. I mean, I didn’t totally forget. I put it off until later in the day, and then when later in the day rolled around, I forgot. I was totally focused on not forgetting earlier in the day when the opportunity to do it wasn’t there. Therefore, it’s not really forgetting. Nevertheless, there is no Monday blog. Instead there’s a Tuesday blog, but I actually have less time to do it today than I did yesterday, so it will be everything that I can type in the span of 15 minutes, or whenever the “Let’s Go” text message arrives.

I’m gonna have to go point form, or this will never get done!

– On the subway the other night I saw 3 people with 2 bikes. It wasn’t busy because it was later in the evening. I remember them talking among themselves, and it was…………………………..

SHIT…. the “Let’s Go” Text arrived early. Gotta stop.

OK I’m back. This is now officially a Wednesday blog. Here are some random thoughts to fulfill my blogligation (get it????? blog & obligation???? Am I over-explaining again????)

– I’ve grown SOOOOOOOOOOO tired of people using “Wait for it” to set up their punchlines. Can we stop doing that now please? It’s gone on way too long. It’s just silly now.

– I was in a store today and some lady was there cashing out a purchase with her daughter, who was probably 10. The daughter complained that she was tired, and the mom said this…… “Oh I know honey….you’re not feeling well, and couldn’t go to school….. so I take you shopping….. I’m such a bad mother!” It was kind of funny, but I did actually agree with her. If your kid can’t go to school because she’s sick, then why are you making her walk around with you all day? She might as well be at school then.

– I live in Toronto. If you are reading this later on, just know that right now our mayor Rob Ford is suspected of smoking crack on camera (among other stuff…. he’s just a train wreck). Later, I’m certain he’ll be in jail for god knows what. I’m sort of proud to say I didn’t vote for him, but to be perfectly honest, it was a weak crop of candidates. What I’m not proud of is that this has become international news, and Torontonians are super embarrassed (as they should be… I mean, we voted him into office). When I see Jimmy Kimmel has a Rob Ford skit on his show, and Jon Stewart has a Rob Ford rant on the same night, it’s probably not the kind of notoriety we’re looking for. Don’t think I didn’t notice Jay Leno make reference to it and say “There’s nothing to do in Toronto anyways”…. to which I reply ‘How would you know, you goofy fuck!! You haven’t been funny since the 80s! Eat shit and die!” (Maybe I’m a bit sensitive). To be perfectly honest, I don’t know how Americans can even laugh at this when George W served 2 terms as their president, and that guy can barely spell his fucking name…… eghhhh, I’m going to get off this topic…. I don’t like what it’s turning me into. I feel so aggressive. Needless to say, I hope the Rob Ford era ends shortly. I love Toronto, and I can’t help but find this humiliating. I’ve lost my sense of humor regarding this matter. Fuckin Jay Leno!!!

– I can’t follow that with anything. This wasn’t 15 minutes. It took forever. I hate politics, and late night TV. I hope the Miami Heat lose, because I hate them too. 😦 So much hate…. I gotta stop or else I won’t be able to sleep.

On a lighter note…… http://www.paymevegas.com coming soon!!! Haha… You thought I was bluffing??