The Chain Always Stops Here

I remember sitting in my friend’s car. It was a 1983 Pontiac Acadian. One of the last cars I ever saw that didn’t have ‘power steering’. For those of you young enough to take that for granted, you used to get quite an arm workout from driving if you didn’t have power steering. Now all cars have it, and some will do all the tricky driving for you, it’s pathetic….don’t get me started. This car (this is off topic but worth mentioning) had a sound system that cost the owner more than the actual car. What can I say…. It was the 90s. Baby Blue with a black racing stripe, and tinted windows. This car was all dressed up with nowhere to go. We were sitting in it listening to Hip Hop because it was my obsession at the time, and sounded so damn good in a car like that. You had to listen to loud music in this car. It served almost no other purpose.

We were driving along when I noticed a piece of folded up paper stuffed under the windshield wiper blade. I rolled down my window and reached out to grab it. I told my friend about it, and opened it up to read to him. He quickly yanked it out of my hand, threw it out of his window, and kept driving. I paused for a moment with my mouth wide open in amazement. “Chain Letter”, he said and kept driving.

I didn’t know what a chain letter was at the time. He explained it to me, and spoke of the dire consequences of reading a chain letter, and then not following the instructions at the bottom, which often included writing 10 other chain letters. Kids…. in 1993, that sucked way worse than it would now. It wasn’t just a matter of hitting forward, and dropping 10 names from your address book. You had to write those fuckers out. I now understood why my friend was so quick to throw out that letter (even though it could have been some girl who had a crush on him, or a letter from another driver indicating that they had nicked his vehicle in a parking lot). He knew if he read it, he was bound by those terms.

20 years later, I received a Blogger’s equivalent of a chain letter. A blogger nominated award! This one is called the Liebster Blog Award. I’ve seen these around, and only after doing some research did I understand what it was. This one comes with some terms and conditions. You first of all have to shout out the nominator, which I’m happy to do. Then you have to post the award on your site (which I don’t even know how to do…. I guess you just copy and paste?? I suck at this stuff). Then you have to answer 11 questions about yourself (which is an opportunity in itself, because I don’t know if you’ve noticed how much I’ve been reaching on my topics lately, but I have NO new ideas.) Then you have to nominate 11 more bloggers to receive this award. If everyone did this, absolutely everyone would have about 15 of these. Not super meaningful, BUT………

I believe my nominator had pure intentions (and did not mean it as a chain letter), so I’ll play along. Her name is Ashley, and you can read her blog http://everythingisblooming.wordpress.com. She seems like a very sweet 20 something girl from Wisconsin who plays the violin, and writes some pretty funny stuff. She often takes pages from her diary from when she was a teenager, and writes it out, and then criticizes herself as the older, wiser Ashley. Pretty ballsy, but funny! I wouldn’t have the courage to let you know what I was thinking as a teenager. It would be completely inappropriate. I can barely behave now.

I should mention that I had previously been nominated for something as well. If that person is still a reader of mine, I apologize for not acknowledging whatever that was. I thought it was spam. Maybe when I have more time, I’ll go back and find out who that was.

I will also answer all of Ashley’s questions! This is amazing actually, because I had nothing to write about, and now I do. Although, I normally like to give opinions about things other than myself, I guess I can open up a bit and tell you about me. You should know that Ashley was born on February 29th, so she didn’t have a birthday this year. If you go to her page, wish her a happy birthday (next time there’s a leap year 😉 Ha). Here are my answers….

1. What would you spend your last $50 on?
I’ve spent my last $50 more times than I care to admit publicly. My close friends know this is true. It was often on beer and chicken wings.

2. Favorite fashion accessory?
Used to be a watch, but my wrist has this horrible allergy to (nickel maybe??) and I can’t wear them anymore. I love hats, but my head is friggin enormous. It’s not that noticeable until I try on hats. They’re too small. I don’t know if shoes count, but I have a lot of shoes for a guy. I always wear a belt. It always matches. If my socks/shoes/belt combo isn’t right, I feel completely naked and vulnerable. Now you know more than you wished.

3. If you were a character on The Simpsons, who would you be?
Tough call because those characters are all so pigeon holed, Krusty the Clown?

4. What’s your go-to comfort food?
I have a few of them, but spaghetti is the one thing I’m good at making myself.

5. If you could vacation anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I would like to go to the Montreaux Jazz festival in Switzerland.

6. Do you prefer to work out in the gym, at home, or outdoors; what do you love about it?
Hate working out. What a weird question. So assumptive. However, my favourite form of exercise is playing basketball.

OH MY GOD!!!! I just realized that I’m answering the wrong questions. These were the questions that Ashley answered when she got her award, not the ones she asked….. Ughhhhh… I have to start over, but I won’t delete what I’ve already done. Consider those bonus questions. Dammit!

1.Are you a dog or cat person? Why?
If I have to choose, it’s dog because they’re usually friendly, and I like their attitude. Cats are just too smug. Not a huge fan of either

2.Growing up, what was your favorite cartoon?
Ren & Stimpy. When I watch it now, it doesn’t hold up the same, but I thought that was hilarious!! Ironically a dog and cat cartoon. Maybe I do like them.

3.If you could meet one fictional character, who would it be?
I would love to get drunk and smoke cigars with Bunk from The Wire

4.What is one of your guilty pleasures?
I’m really into Fleetwood Mac right now. I’m not sure if I need to feel guilty about that or not, but I would say it in hushed tones around certain people.

5.You’re forced to relocate immediately; Where would you choose to live?
I would probably just move somewhere that was as close to Toronto as I would be allowed under the conditions of the relocation. Too many family and friends. New York City if you really made me choose.

6.Marry, Boff, Kill: Your first, second, and third romantic partners.
Wow… personal…. Uhhh define romantic partners??? OK never mind, it’s hypothetical (my wife reads this!!!!!My mom reads this!!!!!). I’ll go with the 3 romantic partners that I’ve had lasting (over 2 yrs) relationships with. I’ll call them 1, 2 and 3 (chronological order). I’d probably kill 1 since I haven’t seen or heard from her in 15 years, boff 2 since I’d feel bad killing her, and marry 3 since I’ve already done so, and have no regrets about it. (That’s not to say that I wouldn’t feel bad killing 1…….this is a weird marry, boff, kill scenario… aren’t you just supposed to do that with people you haven’t already been with???)

7.What was your first car?
1988 Chevrolet Celebrity. I could write an entire blog about that piece of shit. Perhaps I will someday.

8.What’s your homepage?
I don’t even know how to change my homepage. Google.ca right now.

9.Name two things other than your phone or computer you couldn’t live without.
My music collection (iPod if it’s just one thing), and my bed I guess.

10.What is your favorite dessert?
Creme Brule

11.What are you currently obsessed with?
Many things. My Toronto Blue Jays pop into mind. Sooo excited about the upcoming baseball season. Go Jays!

So, those are my answers!!! The chain ends here though! Thank you Ashley for thinking of me. I won’t be posting the award or sending this to 11 people, but I had great fun with the topic anyways. The people I would send it to are all great writers, and I’m sure have an online trophy case full of these already!