No please, really…. inconvenience me!!! Life really is all about you, I swear!

On the bus/streetcar/subway………

I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough on this bus to bring your take-out food, and eat a full-on meal here in front of me.  I think this is an important step in our relationship as complete strangers.  Ohhh the aroma, what is that??  Maybe you could give me the address of the place where you picked that up.  I’m so interested in your dining experience, I just wish there was something I could do to make you more comfortable.  Maybe I could stand, so you could put your food down.  Maybe I have napkins in my pocket.  I can’t believe this stupid bus doesn’t have a drink holder for you.  It’s so innovative of you to think of eating here, and providing a dual purpose for this vehicle which until you got here was only good for transportation.

I love the way you put your makeup on while riding the subway.  It’s amazing that I’m able to witness the entire transition on my commute to work in the morning.  It’s not just lipstick with you, is it?  You’ve got the whole case here.  This is going to be valuable for me to see you do this in a moving vehicle no less. I’ll cross my fingers while you do your eye makeup.  I hope you’re done before I get to work so I can see the finished product.  I know you’ll look like an absolute princess when you’re done and it means a lot to me that you allowed me to see the blank canvas first, and that now I know how it must feel to be inside of your bathroom.  No really…. Thank you!  I feel closer to you!

Dude, that seat on the bus that you’re on is really a 2-seater.  I mean it’s a love seat.  It only makes sense for you to sprawl out.  It’s important to me that you’re as relaxed and comfortable as possible.  There’s only an off chance that someone else would want to sit in the other seat, and besides…. you got here first!  You and your friend are chillin hard right now, so it’s only sensible that you re-create the conditions of your living room.  You should really talk louder too.  I don’t know if your buddy can hear you over the annoying rumbling of the train engine, and the other people on the train.  You should really sit as far apart from each other as possible, because you’re saying some really interesting deep stuff right now, and I think the rest of the train can benefit from hearing it.  Thank you for being open and generous with your thoughts.  You’re really making the rest of us feel welcome.

Oh and the guy with the iPod???  You are groovin up a storm.  The way you’re actually rapping some of the lyrics out loud is like entertainment for me.  You are mad talented, and I feel like Drake is right here on the subway train.  I might need an autograph after this.  How can I get that song on my iPod?  The way you’re doing a live rendition of it???  I should be so lucky to have live entertainment on my work commute.  I didn’t even have to pay for a ticket.  Man…. you’re dancing like nobody’s watching!!!!  That is philosophically in alignment with every bit of ‘life advice’ I’ve ever received.  I can only hope that some day I might have the courage to do the same.  You inspire me!!


About Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

I'm a music lover, an enthusiast, a diaper changer, an opinion sharer, a chicken wing consumer, a procrastinating couch sitter, an actor, a business professional, a foodie, an above average dresser, and blogger at View all posts by Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

7 responses to “No please, really…. inconvenience me!!! Life really is all about you, I swear!

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