Tag Archives: Star Magazine

Not Hot Beach Bodies?

There’s nothing like going to the grocery store to inspire me to write a Monday rant. There’s so much wrong with the world, and most of it in some way is going on at the grocery store. Could it be that the grocery store is a microcosm of our society? Shit, I could explain what I think I mean by that, but I don’t have a good explanation at the moment, and this post isn’t about grocery stores anyways, so I’m bailing on that concept. You deep thinkers out there can decide for yourselves. It’s 10:46 pm as I’m typing this. I gotta keep it simple or else I’ll get sleepy and won’t finish.

What went on at the grocery store today that could inspire a rant you say? Same thing that goes on at the grocery store everyday, but I usually don’t take notice. Perhaps I do, but maybe don’t always find it as offensive as I did today. To say its offensive is not to say that I’m specifically offended. I don’t offend that easily. I’m offended on behalf of society.

Why am I offended on behalf of society you say? I’m offended in general by gossip magazines. They’re always at the check-out in grocery stores. I’ve never purchased one, but I (like any other weak-minded soul) will check out the cover. There is a lot of information about celebrity weight fluctuation, marriage troubles, and not much else as far as I can tell. I don’t support this industry. I’m not saying that I’m better than anyone else for it. I’m sure there are industries that I do support that are worse than this. That said, I will look at the cover. I’m in the lineup at the grocery store, what else am I going to look at, chocolate bars??? We all know how that ends.

Today I got offended by one particular gossip magazine that I saw at the grocery store. It’s called Star Magazine. If you run out right now and get one, you’ll see the cover features “Best & Worst Beach Bodies”. This is certainly enough to pique someone’s interest. I almost don’t even have a problem with ‘Best Beach Bodies’ other than it being an invasion of privacy. At least there’s some positivity associated with compiling their best pictures of famous people at the beach. Do we really need ‘Worst Beach Bodies’???? I’ll give an example. They have a picture of Bruce Jenner’s son, and beside it, bold letters that read ‘HOT’. Beside that there’s a picture of Bruce Jenner, and beside it, bold letters that read ‘NOT’. Sooooo Bruce Jenner doesn’t have a hot beach body?? Bruce Jenner is 63 years old! Why would he have a hot beach body? More importantly who cares?? Even more importantly, does this mean that if you’re famous, and you don’t have a ‘hot beach body’, that you have to stop going to the beach?? Apparently it does! No wonder these poor buggers are always getting plastic surgery. No matter how washed up they get, there’s always the potential of them ending up on the COVER of a magazine in their bathing suit??? I think I would have been fine with a picture of his son, and a collection of other good pictures of ‘hot beach bodies’, but is there a new thing where you get ridiculed for going to the beach without a ‘hot beach body’? I would suggest that MOST PEOPLE do not have what would classically be regarded as ‘hot beach bodies’, does that mean none of them should go to the beach? That doesn’t seem right to me.

I know society doesn’t have too much sympathy for the rich & famous, and perhaps that’s why these particular magazines seem to be as successful as they are. I’m not too familiar with Bruce Jenner outside of his athletic notoriety. My understanding is that he’s the Kardashian kids’ stepfather. I’ve never watched that show (another industry I won’t support), so I have no idea how goofy this guy might be, but I don’t think it’s right for him or anyone else featured in that magazine to be ridiculed for what they might look like in a bathing suit. I also think that it sucks that they can’t just go hang out without being photographed. We’re the ones that buy the magazines, so we have nobody to blame but ourselves. It’s a bit disturbing to me, that’s all.