Tag Archives: Las Vegas

October 28, 2015

My Toronto Blue Jays Stories Volume 4

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

5 Jay Games in Vegas

Did I pledge to write 10 of these Blue Jay blogs??? Yeah that must have been when they were still in it. I’ve spent the last few days picking my broken heart up off the floor, and am back to try to fulfill that ridiculous promise. Man, I must have thought they playoffs would last forever. 10 blogs???

Today I will do a little bit of cross promotion. I do have another blog. It’s a Las Vegas travel blog actually. Some of you have read it, and judging from the stats, most of you haven’t. That’s cool. I understand how weird it must be to be a Las Vegas enthusiast. If you were to click over to http://www.paymevegas.com you will probably notice that I don’t get to write in that one nearly as often. The reason? I just can’t justify going to Vegas as often as I’d like to go, but I do go to Vegas a fair bit by most people’s standards. In fact, I just returned from a week-long journey, so Pay Me Vegas will have some new content shortly.

As happy as I am to watch the Toronto Blue Jays in the playoffs, even I would have to admit that they did everything in their power to hijack our Vegas itinerary. I remember when the playoff schedule came out and I mentioned to my wife that they might have some games that I absolutely MUST watch while we’re there. Maybe just one. There did exist a scenario where there would be five in total. Guess which scenario played itself out? This required a lot of patience and understanding from my wife. Not that she doesn’t love the Jays too. It’s just that I have a 3-year old (who was still 2 at the time) who really doesn’t give a shit about baseball unless it’s an excuse to have me pick him up from his crib well past his bed time….. oh yeah, under those circumstances, he’s fan #1. The boy needs to be monitored/entertained during all waking hours. This made things awkward, because if I need 3 or more hours of focus and attention towards a ballgame, then my wife gets stuck on kid duty for that length of time 5 out of the 7 days we’re there. Possibly making matters worse is the time change. These playoff games were played at 4pm EST most of the time, which is 1pm Vegas time. That’s right smack in the middle of the day. This is the story of how I managed to watch all 5 games.

Oct 11/2015 Game 3 of the ALDS

We were down 2-0 in a best of 5 series against the Rangers. The Sunday game was at 8pm EST which was 5pm in Vegas. This was huge for me because I flew in that day, and would have been crushed if the Blue Jays played an elimination game while I was in an airplane, or getting fucked by Thrifty Car Rental (that story another time). We had time to get to the hotel, have dinner, get settled, well before the game started. While I wanted to have cool/obnoxious stories to tell to my friends about where I watched the game (Hey man, where are you? On your couch?? Cool! I’m sitting on a patio overlooking the strip in Vegas in a t-shirt, is it cold there? etc……….), I was perfectly happy to watch the first game in the hotel. Our room had a good-sized TV, a bunch of channels on digital cable, and a comfortable couch to sit on (we were at a time-share, so we had a condo unit, which was perfect for still being able to watch the game after the boy went to sleep). 5pm rolls around, and I grab the remote, and start flipping through the channels. There were like 50 or more channels. I didn’t see the game anywhere. It must have been on commercial. I flipped through again. Nothing. Again. Nothing. They’re gonna throw the first pitch in a minute. I think it’s on FS1. I don’t know these channels, what channel is that? I’m looking at a chart with the channels, and it’s saying FS1 is channel 5-1, but when I flip past with the remote, it skips over. I’m in full freak out mode. There’s an elimination game being played and I can’t get the goddamned channel? It’s a playoff game. Isn’t baseball America’s pastime? I’m in America! I won’t stand for this. So my wife manages to get the game on the radio on her iPad while I call the front desk asking what the trick is for getting FS1 on the TV. They even sent a guy who came and flipped through the channels just like I had 3 times already, only to tell me that they don’t get that channel, and sometime during that my wife goes to the store to get some supplies. So there I am with my son watching cartoons with the Blue Jay game on the radio, losing my mind with every pitch. This was not sustainable. I was going to have to go to the bar. My wife came back and it was the 3rd inning. I texted one of my buddies and asked him to message me a play by-play while I walked to the nearest bar. Even though I was staying off the strip, I was located pretty close to the new Linq Promenade. I found a bar as soon as I walked in. A huge one called Yard House, which I was familiar with, and hoping to go to because of its vast beer selection, but I could see all the TVs had Sunday night football on. Yes, early season NFL games between 2 non-playoff teams trumps playoff baseball in the United States. Can’t believe it. The next place was called the Tilted Kilt, and I saw it had the game on, but was packed (it was the Sunday before Memorial Day, so a long weekend in the States meant busy bars). I walked up close to the window to at least see the score and inning. As I got close, I saw someone get up from their seat at the bar. I ran inside, sat down and ordered a Sam Adams. Phew! Disaster averted. I was there about 30 minutes before Troy Tulowitzki hit his 3-run homer to give us a commanding lead in the game. I could tell who the Canadians were when the table in the far corner went ape-shit after it happened. Jays win. If Jays lose, series over, and probably a better vacation.

Oct 12/2015 Game 4 of the ALDS

Down 2-1 in the series, we had another elimination game. This time it’s a 1pm start in Vegas which is right in the middle of the day. Our plan was to go to the Planet Hollywood Hotel after our lunch at Bobby Flay’s burger restaurant. The boy usually takes a nap at that time, and my wife figured she could push him around the Miracle Mile Shops and shop while he slept. I could then go to the lounge in the Planet Hollywood Casino, where at 1pm on a Monday, it wasn’t too busy. Now if the boy slept for 3.5 hours, we totally could have pulled this off. Luckily the game was a bit of a laugher, with the Jays scoring a bunch of runs early, and getting good pitching as well. When he did wake up, we went to Garrett’s Popcorn, and got what I maintain is the best popcorn in the entire universe. We were able to sit outside a bar (which is outside the concert venue where there is a Brittany Spears concert just about every night for those that find that appealing), and watch the end of the game. Jays win.

Oct 14/2015 Game 5 of the ALDS

The series is tied 2-2, and back in Toronto after 2 games in Texas. This game decides who advances and who goes home. We decide to go to Mandalay Bay on this day. The Shark Reef Aquarium was something kid friendly on our agenda, and maybe something that my wife and son could check out while I obsess about the fate of my Toronto Blue Jays. We decided to have lunch there. I saw an Irish Pub called Ri Ra in the shopping area. We ascertained that the game was on TV, and went in for lunch. It was Wednesday and I was already ordering salads. Everytime I go to Vegas, we just keep having epic meal after epic meal, and sometimes my body just stops wanting food. It’s those times that I know if I see a good-looking salad on the menu, order it and live to fight another day. I had a Guinness IPA for all you beer fans. Apparently this was a limited edition, but it was crazy. It had that smooth texture, but totally tasted like an IPA. So weird, but good. I’m sure they’ll have them everywhere soon. This game was kind of nerve-wracking. My son doesn’t have the attention span to sit in a restaurant for too long, so we watched a few innings, and then I needed to do a location change. What would happen in between the Irish Pub, and my final destination? Would some legendary baseball play happen that Jay fans would remember for all of eternity, and I would miss it? We were boogeying down to the Mandalay Bay Sportsbook, where I would finish watching on TV while my wife and son went to the aquarium. I walked past a hobby store and saw Pete Rose in there signing autographs. I wanted to just go in there and tell him that I think he’s awesome even though he’s been treated like a steaming pile of shit over the last 25 years or so, but I didn’t have time to stop. I went to the washroom and came out. Texas had scored the go-ahead run on a Russell Martin throwing error that was one of the most bizarre plays in MLB playoff history. Luckily they replayed it 5,219 times or I would have really missed out. Then a few minutes later it happened. Easily a top 5 moment in Toronto Blue Jay history, when Jose Bautista hit a home run that gave us the lead in the game and series for good. It was weird because I was in public, but not with anyone, and I started jumping up and down like a 5-year-old. I guess it was one of those ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ moments. I didn’t give a shit what anyone thought of me. I was just having a full on celebration by myself in a room full of people who were probably a little indifferent to the outcome of this game unless they bet on it. One guy came up to me and hugged me though. He must have been in the same situation as I was. It was a pretty joyous moment. I wished my wife was there with me, but she was looking after my son so I could enjoy that moment, and I’m forever grateful.

Oct 16/2015 Game 1 of the ALCS

The Jays were in Kansas City. In an effort to accommodate my son, we decided to go to Circus Circus. Our friend had flown in to join us for a couple of days, so we had an extra adult with us who was also a Jay fan. Again, my wife and son are off playing games, or doing whatever you do there. Our friend and I were in the Circus Circus Sportsbook suffering from second-hand smoke and mediocre beer. When my wife ran out of patience, we were happy to change locations. I hadn’t been to Circus Circus in years. There’s a reason for that, but I don’t like to be judgemental. It’s a good place for a certain crowd I suppose. Had the ventilation been better, I might not have minded it so much. Courtesy of our friend, we now had a rental car, so we drove back toward ‘home’ again, listening on the radio as we drove. We decided to go back to Linq Promenade, and gave the Yard House another try, which worked out great, since I love beer and they have fantastic food. The Jays didn’t fare so well. Royals win.

Oct 17/2015 Game 2 of the ALCS

Back to the Miracle Mile inside of Planet Hollywood. We went right back to that bar inside the mall near Brittany Spears. I drank a Pina Colada while my wife pushed my son around in the stroller. When he fell asleep, she brought him over. This bar was basically just a circle inside the mall. At the entrance there was a line where you couldn’t cross unless you were 21. I sat right beside it, and parked the stroller on the other side with my son fast asleep. This allowed my wife to go to the casino to do some gambling, which she hadn’t done much of up to that point. I was happy that I was able to watch the game and my son at the same time, so she could go have fun for a bit. This was looking like an awesome game. David Price was pitching a gem until the 7th inning when everything fell apart. Royals win.

All told, 5 games in Vegas was bittersweet. We won the first 3 and moved on to the ALCS. We lost the next 2 and would go on to lose the ALCS. I felt bad for the amount of time we spent working around those games, but at the same time, I think we did a lot of the things we wanted to do. I think I might owe my wife some additional consideration on our next trip. My son has already forgotten all about it I’m sure.

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Stories, Uncategorized

April 15, 2013

In My Dreams

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

In my dreams…. I’m a guy that gets up super early, goes for a jog when it’s still dark out, comes home, puts on a pot of coffee, reads the paper, and gets ready for work before anybody else wakes up. Then I go to work, and arrive 30 minutes before start time, and meditates until it’s time to work.

In reality…… I hit the snooze button at least twice after my ‘drop dead’ time for waking up, and tear ass around to get ready on time. I only shave twice a week. I tell people it’s because of sensitive skin, but in reality it’s because I’m typically left to decide between shaving and being on time for work as the higher priority for the day.

In my dreams…. I’m the guy in the Grey Goose commercial who’s sailing his boat out on the ocean near icebergs, and wearing white pants while shucking oysters and drinking vodka on the rocks, not to get smashed, but because I’m sophisticated enough to know the difference between Grey Goose and any other Vodka, and I just drink that shit straight because I can, because I have a boat, and the people I hang out with are that slick, and we all tie sweaters around our necks.

In reality….. I can’t afford a boat and I’m scared of drowning. What gets me excited (and always has) is a pitcher of beer (not just any beer…. I do have SOME taste), and a plate of chicken wings, hanging out with my friends in the lowest common denominator of sports bars hopefully with some godforsaken Toronto sports team finally in the playoffs on a big screen TV. I’m pretty simple at end of the day.

In my dreams….. I’m well read. I have a vast library of books, and I like to curl up on a Sunday morning with a good book and read the day away while it rains outside and a kitten snuggles up beside me and purrs. Biographies, fiction, cookbooks, and self-help books (because in my dreams I’m always trying to get better) etc. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

In reality……. If it’s longer than 3 paragraphs, good luck. I read blogs, but mainly because they’re short and I write blogs. I go to Chapters with my wife and buy a book on sale because it looks interesting, but I only read when I’m on a beach or an airplane, so most of those books have never been opened. The upside of this is that some people have commented that my writing style is original…. yeah no shit… I have no idea what it’s supposed to look like, so I just write like I talk. If I’d actually read a book, I’d probably try to write like an actual author. Sundays are spent napping on the couch in between football/basketball/baseball games on TV. I don’t like cats.

In my dreams….. I’m well-travelled. I’m the guy that was at the other table in the restaurant on Saturday, discussing the upcoming trip to Japan with his friends. He wasn’t Japanese though, he was just a guy that travels a lot. He spoke knowledgeably about what was there, and telling his friends where they could meet up and what they could do (because they both just happen to be going simultaneously, but not together??? I’d love to have that coincidence. ‘Oh, I’m gonna be in Japan next month… You too?? No way!!! We should meet up!!!). I would love to have a story to counter every travel story that someone told me. It would go like this..
Other person – Oh you should have seen how beautiful Amsterdam was blah blah blah
Me – I know…. I was there last week blah blah blah, and did way cooler stuff blah blah blah

In reality……. I go to Vegas a lot. Some of the hotels are designed to look like other places which I really appreciate, like Paris, New York New York, The Venetian. Now the upside is that I could totally write a Vegas tourism blog (there’s that idea again…. how do I manage to always work this in…. it’s only a matter of time before this becomes a real thing.) Otherwise, I watch some Anthony Bourdain shows and that’s about the extent of how cultured I am.

In my dreams…… I’m a rock star. I play all kinds of instruments effortlessly. I rock shows, make albums, even do session work for other famous artists. I appear in documentaries meant for the general public making a bunch of nerdy musical observations that only other musicians could hope to understand. I write tell all books about all the crazy hotel parties that I’ve been to, and name drop shamelessly.

In reality……. I borrowed my buddy’s guitar one time, and got a couple of books (which I don’t read) and DVDs meant to help me learn to play. I picked that thing up, and put my fingers in the (impossible) positions that represented basic chords, and realized ‘This hurts my fuckin hands!’

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March 25, 2013

Vegan Or Vegas? I’ve Made My Choice!!

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

If you take the word Vegan and replace the n with an s, you are left with the word Vegas. I fully support all Vegans in their endeavors (to do whatever it is they do….be healthy….not kill animals etc), and in no way is this blog meant to poke fun at them. That being said, I love meat, and I love Las Vegas! Some times when I hear the word Vegan in a sentence, it kind of bums me out because it’s food related, but there’s no meat involved. Then when I replace the n with an s, it brightens up my day.

I’m strongly considering writing a Vegas travel blog. I spend enough time trying to convince people to go to Vegas, and I don’t get paid for it. This blog (if I do it) will be a social/finance experiment to see if by writing enough positive reviews, and helping Vegas tourism, I’ll be able to get my Vegas trips paid for. Stay tuned!

I wanted to find the word Vegan used in sentences. Since none of the sentences coming out of my mouth ever have the word Vegan in them, I had to consult other sources. When I googled the word Vegan, I saw a website called http://www.vegan.com. I assume if they’ve been around long enough to secure that URL, then they must have some good Vegan content.

On this site I saw a list of cookbooks, and converted the names to suit my own needs. 8 of the top 10 titles had the word Vegan in them.

Would you buy THESE cookbooks????

99 cent Vegas Guide
Betty Goes (to) Vegas
Quick Fix Vegas
Vegas Cooking for Carnivores
Vegas for Life
The 30-Minute(s in) Vegas
Vegas on the Cheap
Vegas Sandwiches Save the Day

The website’s main page has a headline that says ‘Vegas Living Is Easy and Delicious’

After 308 words I’m starting to feel guilty about poking fun at the Vegans. Especially since I referenced somebody’s website without permission, and bastardized some of the content, and will probably tag this post with the word Vegan. So let me balance it out a bit.

I appreciate Vegans because they are more of a ‘Knowledge is Power’ crowd than ‘Ignorance is Bliss’. They see something morally wrong with eating meat or animal products, or perhaps are convinced of certain health benefits that accompany that lifestyle. It’s very honorable in a lot of ways. Everybody probably knows that animals are generally not treated well, but people like myself try not to think about it because the greasy satisfying deliciousness that is meat has got a hold on my desires. I’m uncomfortable dealing with the guilt associated with my choices. So whenever I talk to a Vegan I usually (jokingly) trivialize their lifestyle and talk about bacon, but the truth is I admire their strength and conviction. So I encourage all of the Vegans (aspiring and otherwise) reading this post to go to http://www.vegan.com and to re-read my post and put the ‘n’ back in Vegan.

As for the rest of you…… I encourage you to book a trip to Las Vegas. Keep a watch out for my new Vegas blog, which now that I’m officially announcing, I guess I’ll have to go through with it. This is how I trick myself into doing stuff. By announcing my intentions to the world, so I get shamed into productivity. Oh if only there was an easier way. (For those fans of thoughts and rants in jogging pants, fear not! I will not do a Vegas blog to the exclusion of this, I will do in addition.)

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash baby shit off a sleeper.

6 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Uncategorized

November 27, 2012

The Comb Over

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

Here’s the thing.  I don’t feel bad for guys that are losing their hair.  There are many worse things that can happen to you in life.  If you know you’re losing your hair, you can go to a more trim hairstyle.  It can be a great look for bald or balding gentlemen.  Keep it trim, and you’ll look sharp.  I’ve seen guys pull it off far too often for me to feel bad for anyone that has to do it.  Don’t be a baby, you’re not Robert Plant.

It’s nature people!  Don’t fight it.  Let it happen gracefully, and become one of the sexy bald men out there.  There are lots.  80% of women over 35 couldn’t care less about your hair as long as you don’t look like an idiot.  I didn’t get that number from a poll.  I made it up.  Still, I’m pretty sure it’s accurate.

Here’s the thing.  A lot of men’s confidence is tied to their abundance of hair.  They lose their hair, they lose their confidence.  It’s sad, but often true.  It’s so misguided as well.  Most guys over 35 have started to at least thin out a bit.  If you dress well, smell good, have an updated wardrobe with clothes that compliment you, and keep your hair really short or bald, there’s no reason to think women won’t like you.  No reason to lose your confidence.  It’s the grooming that attracts women, not the hair.  No woman wants to be with some slob that has long flowing locks of beautiful hair, but looks sloppy from the scalp down.  They want the overall package.

So why do I still see men with comb overs?  I’ve seen some epic comb overs in my day.  What would ever inspire a balding man to grow an extra long piece of hair from the side or back of his head, so he could comb it over the bald part and try to make society believe that he isn’t losing his hair?  I could understand in the 70s and 80s, but every decade since the 90s have been dominated by men with short hair, so why not trim up and ride the wave.  Don’t pretend you don’t know how idiotic it looks either!  Men have been fooling themselves into believing a comb over will solve their problems as long as vanity has been a thing.  Every kid that sees a comb over, makes fun of it, and this has been going on for decades.  Any guy with a comb over now, was a kid making fun of comb overs then, so if you knew how dumb it was then, what makes you think it isn’t dumb now?  It’s actually dumber because you should friggin know better.  Nobody’s stupid enough to not know how idiotic a comb over looks, so I can’t feel sorry for anybody regarding this.

The craziest part is the denial.  When you walk down the street on a windy day you see a great gust of wind swirl up and knock a comb over on its edge, and the poor man who owns it has to drop his groceries to hold it down before anybody sees.  Man, it doesn’t matter if anybody sees……We all know your bald, the only one that doesn’t seem to know is you!  Liberate yourself man!  Go to the barber, and tell him to get those #1 clippers out.  It won’t take your confidence away.  You’ll have more confidence because you faced your fears and took on the world without a helmet.

On a side note, I wanted to mention that ‘The Comb Over” was supposed to be a play on “The Hangover” which I saw on TV again the other night.  Making me long for Las Vegas….. and instead of ‘Zach Galifinakis with a baby strapped to his chest’ tee shirts, there would be comb over tee shirts.  I thought I’d be able to come up with a concept that would allow me to work ‘The Hangover’ theme into ‘The Comb Over’ in some clever way, but goddamnit, I’m just not a good enough writer.  So it stays here in the last paragraph (not because it’s part of the conclusion…. the conclusion was in the second last paragraph….. this last paragraph is just like an ill-conceived way of trying to add an extra idea that doesn’t fit into what I’m doing….. Oh my god I’m rambling…..am I still inside the parentheses?  I need to stop this right here, it’s horrible).  The End

6 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Rants, Uncategorized

June 25, 2012

Vegas Baby!!

By Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants

There are a lot of misconceptions about Las Vegas….. Some of which are true!

I have an unexplainable love for Las Vegas.  Let me explain.  I just got back from my 5th trip there.  I was there for a week.  The cab driver on the way back to the airport said ‘whoa, a week is a long time to be in Vegas’.  Maybe if you don’t pace yourself.  I could stay for 2 or 3 weeks.  I love it.  When I say I’ve been there 5 times, it may or may not sound like a lot to you, but it wasn’t like I spread those visits out over my entire life.  They’ve all been in the last 5 years or so.  After I first went, I’ve used any excuse to go.  ‘Engagement Trip’, ‘Bachelor Party’, ‘Babymoon’.  I would consider the following reasonable excuses as well….. ‘March Madness’, ‘Any other type of general madness’, ‘extra vacation days’, ‘good report card’, ‘bad report card’, ‘boredom’, ‘intense desire for a prime rib dinner that costs less than $10’……. I could go on and on.  Perhaps I will……’tax refund’, ‘tax evasion’, ‘spending your kids education fund after they pissed you off’, ‘to watch in disgust as the Miami Heat win the NBA finals’…. these and many more are all acceptable answers.

I once considered becoming a blogger (which I’ve done and you’re witnessing it), but my first idea was to be a travel blogger who specialized in Las Vegas.  Yes, I was willing to go exclusive with my blogs, and focus on one topic ALL the time.  Then I thought if my blog was popular and awesome (don’t steal this idea btw, because as I’m rethinking it, I might still do it), that the city of Las Vegas would hire me as part of their travel and tourism team.  Not to create brochures and pamphlets either, but to convince individuals one by one to go there (which I already spend at least half my time doing).  If you know me at all, we’ve had this conversation before, and if you haven’t gone, I’ve made you curious.

Having just landed from there a couple of days ago, here are some scattered thoughts/ideas/anecdotes inspired by Las Vegas.  I’m gonna have to go point form with this…..  It’s that random!

– Food.  Whether you are on a budget or you have money to burn, there is something there for you.  Every celebrity chef, and his brother have restaurants in Vegas.  It’s probably the most concentrated area in the world for fine dining (I’m making this up, it totally might not be).  There is amazing food there every direction you turn.  Flavours from all over the world!!  If that doesn’t interest you, there really are Prime Rib Dinners for less than $10.  I actually cracked my tooth on one a couple of years ago (but that had nothing to do with the quality of the meal, I’m just sayin’).  Some of my culinary highlights include the smoked salmon Eggs Benedict at Mon Ami Gabi inside the Paris Hotel.  The waiter that had a guacamole cart at the Mexican place at the MGM Grand (name anyone?), brought it over and made guacamole in front of us while carrying on a conversation.  Also at Paris in an Italian restaurant a few years ago, the waiters would sing an opera song every 15 minutes or so, then go back to waiting tables (I don’t know if that place is still there).  Who could forget $4.99 Steak & Eggs at Ellis Island (don’t know if they still do that or not, but go for the big portions, and great hash browns).

– Booze.  First thing you need to know is that you can drink on the streets.  This is important, because if you’re casino hopping, you don’t have to set your unfinished drink down to leave the hotel.  You just bring it with you and drink on the sidewalk without the shame of a paper bag.  There are intense sized slushy drinks that in some cases need a rope so you can carry it around your neck.  This is incredibly unrefined, and can lead to bad behaviour, but you can’t expect a bunch of drunks to behave themselves.  That’s just silly.  I’m a beer guy, and if you are too, then you’ll appreciate $2 Coronas and Heinekens all day at the Fremont Hotel.  The Yard House in Town Square has over 200 beers on tap (try the Belgian sampler which was the final nail in the coffin for me last Thursday).  If you’re really a beer guy, and don’t give a shit about anything else, the Freakin’ Frog near UNLV is the spot.  You’re cabbin’ it if you’re on the strip, but the selection is worth it.

– Comps.  Do yourself a favour and sign up for a loyalty program or 5 the minute you get to Vegas.  Every time you play cards or a slot machine or any other game, give them the card and let them track that shit.  If you sit at a table long enough, someone will bring you a free drink, but that’s negligible since you’re pouring your life savings into their pockets at a much faster rate than if you paid for your own booze, but……when you’ve gone there a few times like I have, they start contacting you, and offering free hotel stays.  As you become a Vegas addict, this comes in handy.  Now let me be clear……. I didn’t do this, so I’ve never been comped anything, but the story I’m about to tell you is true.  I won’t mention any names to protect the innocent, and so you won’t try to start hanging out with her for free hookups!!  My buddy’s girlfriend is a savvy Vegas veteran of the getting comped scene.  She’s forgotten more about getting comps than I will ever know.  The two of them arrived last Wednesday, and my wife and I met them at the Cosmopolitan after they arrived there from the airport (which was in a limo that the hotel sent btw).  We sat in the VIP check in room where they gave us Mimosas and apologized profusely about the wait (which really wasn’t that long, but it gave me a glimpse of how customer service could be if everyone thought you were rich).  Then they gave her $500 of comped chips to gamble with (which on her first spin at roulette became $950) and $500 food credit at the hotel which we turned into a fabulous couple of meals at the hotel restaurants.  This however, pales in comparison to the massive suite that they stayed in, with a corner balcony that over looked the strip, and particularly the Bellagio water fountains (not to mention the pissy little ‘off the strip’ hotel that I was staying in).  How did this happen???  She signed up for a card, and used it every time she went to Vegas.  The comps start out small, but this was her 11th trip there.  She had to gamble some to get it, but she’s no high roller.  Just a smart enough person (unlike myself) who takes advantage of a good loyalty program.  Remember, an empty hotel room doesn’t generate revenue for a hotel.  Comping the chips only costs them if the customer uses them to win money (which is usually not the case), and whatever the food and service cost is for $500 worth of food is nothing compared to what they’ll probably make off you if you go there with your friends regularly.  Look into it.  It’s awesome!

I haven’t even mentioned the bars, nightclubs, the women in their slutty outfits (even the ones who shouldn’t be wearing what they’re wearing for whatever reason….. I admire your courage), my beloved UNLV Runnin’ Rebels (who I’ve worked into back to back blogs), the Las Vegas 51s (AAA minor league affiliate of my beloved Toronto Blue Jays), the 24 hour buffet pass, the 24 hour bus, Red Rock, the energy sucking but loveable tackiness of Fremont Street, Microbreweries (did I mention being a beer guy?), wedding chapels, shopping (both outlet and boutique), concerts, Cirque du Soleil shows, magicians, comedians, hotel swimming pools, places to do stuff from golf to firing machine guns…….. man I wanna go back.

Pay me Las Vegas!!!

 

 

8 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Humor, Uncategorized