I was watching a TV commercial the other day. If I knew I’d be blogging about it, I would have tried to remember what product they were selling. It could have been a phone, but not necessarily. There was a 3 second clip of a girl’s hand reaching out from behind the shower curtain and changing which song was playing on her phone…… Now as someone who takes the music I listen to very seriously, I have to ask….. How long is your friggin shower that you can’t sort out a 3 or 4 song playlist, or that you don’t have the attention span to get through it without reaching for your phone to put on a different ‘shower song’? We ARE a society that needs our phones, I get it, but do we need them SO badly that they have to be in the shower with us?

What about hashtags??? Not being a huge Twitter guy, this was explained to me as a way to organize your thoughts or connect with other people. From where I’m standing, it’s a corny punchline opportunity at the end of your status update. Have we really organized our statuses, and went back and looked through them? Have we gotten a bunch of new followers? Or have we just #triedtogetacheaplaughattheendofourstatusupdate?
It’s kind of dumb. Let’s stop.

Do we really need to know what’s going on in Lindsay Lohan’s life? I haven’t seen any of her movies. I don’t want to downplay her accomplishments, but she’s spent way more time on TV for partying too hard, then she has for being an actress. My personal opinion is that what someone does things on their own time, it’s their own business, but at least if the Gossip Mag taste-makers decide who they’re going to follow around, and report every move they make as news…..make it someone I’ve heard of.

Light Peanut Butter. Give me a break guys…. I’m all for making healthy changes, but with 25% less fat, it doesn’t even taste like peanut butter. The graininess of it chafing my throat on the way down. It’s so awful, what a horrible invention. Nobody’s getting fat from peanut butter. Get over it. We don’t need this product. It looks too much like the regular one. Sometimes we buy it by accident. Just get it off the shelves. Also, I’m pretty sure whole wheat bread hasn’t saved all the lives you think it has.

Swag is either short for swagger or its free shit. Make up your mind. It’s a dumb word for either if you ask me. Swagger is probably the easiest two-syllable word to say in the English language, it doesn’t need a short form. Swag?? Free shit?? I don’t get it. According to Urbandictionary.com it’s an acronym for ‘secretly we are gay’. Who knew?

Speed bumps are popping up everywhere. I understand they serve a purpose sometimes, but I hate going over them. It just pisses me off when they are in unnecessary locations. Especially traffic calming zones. How much did you assholes pay for your house that we have to drive slow on your street, but fast everywhere else? It makes me want to ‘accidentally’ smash my car into the tree on someone’s front yard just to prove that they don’t work. Give me a break.

Pre-season Football. I love the NFL, but pre-season sucks. None of the good players play. It’s too long. None of the information from pre-season ever helps me with my fantasy team. It’s just a waste of time. Start the season already!!!