Part One: Blirritations (Blog Irritations…. I’m forever inventing words aka wordventing)
I feel a little sheepish writing this post. I read some blogs every week. Not because I enjoy reading, but because it’s bad Karma to write a blog and hope for support, and not read and give support. So I try to read and give support as often as time will allow. I will say that I’m generally pretty impressed with a lot of the blogs I read, and even if I’m not (after all, who the hell am I?), I try give positive feedback, or at least hit the ‘like’ button to let a fellow blogger know I stopped by. I figure this is the least I can do.
I have certain blog pet peeves though, and the reason I hesitate to share these with you is because some of my favourite bloggers do some of these things. I hope that if you are one of these people, and you are doing one or more of these things, that you’ll ignore my complaining, and stick to your guns. You’re my favourite for a reason. These are just minor irritations from a person who tends to get irritated often enough to have a ‘rant’ blog, so consider the source.
By the way, am I being Canadian enough with all these apologies??? What I’m about to say isn’t really that offensive, unless you have a blog where you do 3 or more of these things. Without further nonsense I present my top 5 Blirritations
1. I like a blog to be between 500-1500 words. Under 500 tells me that you aren’t a writer. If you can’t elaborate on an idea for at least 500 words, then why bother? This is writing. I’m not a writer, but I can at least bullshit you into thinking I am for a minimum of 500 words. I don’t often click on a link when the blogger didn’t think enough of their topic to give me 500. I know it’s hard some days, but how do you expect to get better? On the flip side of that coin, if you’re giving me 1500 or more words, you have exceeded my attention span for a blog. I respect you, but unless your post is fully riveting, or ‘shit-your-pants funny’, I would rather read two or three 500-1000 word blogs in the same amount of time.
2. There is a famous saying that ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’. I don’t think whoever said that meant that you could just have a blog and post a bunch of pictures, and not write. I’m struggling with this all the time, and I think that eventually I will bite the bullet and start posting pictures with my blogs. The stats indicate that you get more people reading your stuff if there are pictures posted. On WordPress, if you can get ‘Freshly Pressed’, it seems to lead to about 2000 more followers almost instantly. I really want 2000 more followers, but I need to post pictures and stop swearing in order to make that happen, and unfortunately, the temptation to swear is too strong (because that’s often how I express myself), and I feel it cheapens the blog to post pics (unless it’s a food blog, or travel blog, or something else that requires pics). I’m giving a FREE PASS to bloggers that draw their own pictures. I quite like those. It’s like getting a handmade birthday card instead of store-bought. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I’d rather have a thousand words from a good blogger.
3. There’s this blogging technique where it’s funny to say some crazy shit say what you really mean, and then cross it out and say something more politically correct. This is a deft way of saying some ignorant shit and not taking credit for it making the reader understand how you feel, while not actually including it in the text. It’s the comic strip equivalent of a thought bubble. The character doesn’t say how he/she is feeling to the person she’s talking to, but they let the reader know. Ha ha ha, except this isn’t a fucking comic strip, it’s a blog. I’m not feeling it. If you’re trying to be a better writer, you should try to make your reader feel the exact same way without the shortcuts.
4. There are so many ‘currently popular’ words that come and go. Some get overused, and I’m having a tough time thinking of examples, although I know there are tons of words that I feel this way about. I will focus on ‘Epic’. Not everything is epic. It’s a word that should only be used a fraction of the time that I’m seeing it. Your sandwich isn’t epic. When you tripped over your shoelace, it wasn’t epic. When your girlfriend broke up with you at Starbucks, it wasn’t an epic breakup. When you had too many Jager Bombs, your hangover wasn’t epic. Now if a dinosaur suddenly smashed through your kitchen window with his head, grabbed you, and the contents of the freezer with his teeth, stomped over traffic, and crushed motor vehicles on its way to the beer store, and picked up a case of Lowenbrau tall cans, and flew (with you, freezer contents, and beer in hand) to the nearest park, where he kicked a family of 12 off a barbecue, and started to throw down on some baby back ribs, all while knocking cyclists off the bike path with his tail while the two of you laugh and laugh and laugh, until he eats you for dessert. That would be epic.
5. What on earth is a guest blog?? This isn’t Regis and Kathy Lee, and one of them is sick and needs a replacement! It’s a blog! You’re the writer, so when (and if) I go to your blog, it’s to read YOUR writing. I get that you’re being supportive to a fellow blogger, and want to feature them in some way. I just don’t think that’s the way to do it. Or if you said you would blog every week and you’re sick this week, but honestly, the world will go on if you don’t blog for a few days… god…. how important do you think you are?? It’s not a TV show where ‘the show must go on’, it’s a blog. It shouldn’t go on, if it’s not you doing it.
Part Two:
The New Blog….. http://www.paymevegas.com is up. It will be everything that I just said I hated about blogs probably, but I’m doing it anyways…. Don’t worry (if you were worried), ‘Thoughts and Rants’ is still my baby, and I’ll still be doing this one every Monday. The first post is up on the new one though, so in advance I thank you for checking it out, and potentially following it, if you think it will be of interest to you.
thoughtsandrantsinjoggingpants 
June 11th, 2013 at 12:27 am
Congratulations on the new blog!
Also, I make my own birthday cards…
I wonder if that’s relevant…
Yes.
June 11th, 2013 at 4:11 am
That’s very sweet 🙂
June 11th, 2013 at 12:57 am
T&R once again never dissapointing his fans. Good stuff. But be honest and tell me the truth. And I mean if your answer is “fuck you tom I am going right now to I follow you!!!!” Them I will still read you ever Monday.
Are you telling me that you don’t love my pictures?
June 11th, 2013 at 4:14 am
Your pictures?? Are almost always of you…. and the same one just about every time! Which is probably just crazy enough to work.
June 11th, 2013 at 4:50 am
I of course meant the pictures with the captions. I think they are funny as shit.
Your post was great. I checked my ipod at work tonight, and saw what you had written about. I asked to go to lunch a little bit early so I could read it. Thanks for saying what so many others feel. If anybody ever asks me about you I will simply say “Yes it is true, They are indeed made of brass”
I really do look forward to reading you each week. you are high up on my reading priorities.
June 11th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
Thanks for the kind words man. I do give you a pass on the pictures with captions. It takes almost as much creativity as drawing!!
June 12th, 2013 at 8:29 am
If I wasn’t intermittently cognitively dysfunctional, I’d follow your blog as I think you have a great sense of humour and I wholeheartedly agree with many of your points in the above.
I actually get really annoyed when people reblog other bloggers posts without so much as a word (of why they’ve reblogged). I call this downright lazy. Especially as I recently discovered a photo of mine was re-blogged without a word (and then discovered this particular person had their blog full of other people’s work and none of their own. It would have been polite to at least type a sentence explaining why they’d printed my photo (because they liked it ???). And as you’ve pointed out, we read blogs to read that person’s writing or work(not someone else’s writing, or photo, or video).
I also hate reading blogs where it’s one long stream of words with little punctuation and no paragraphs to break up the stream.
Variety is the spice of Life. I wish more bloggers would ‘spice’ up, or ‘vary’ their content (and I don’t mean lurid or graphic words/photos) – I just mean paragraphs with spaces, occasionally a different font, italics or bold word.
Now I’ve had my little ‘grumble’ of the week, I feel much better.
PS. I also get annoyed when a new person makes a comment and asks if he/she can do a guest post on my blog – I’m afraid I throw these in the Spam box.
June 12th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
Wow…. Someone has actually asked to guest blog for you? I guess they want to be exposed to a new fan base, but they should have to earn it.
I’m actually a little conflicted about what I said about the re-blogging thing as I do think sometimes it’s meant to be taken as a compliment, but perhaps they could support your blog by twittering or facebooking the link.
June 12th, 2013 at 8:16 pm
gulp. I think I’ve committed almost all of these sins (except the crossing out thing which I would probably do if I knew how) – but I do agree with you on some of the points. Although I love photos. Mostly because I’m nosy. Congrats on the new blog – I’ll be reading!
June 13th, 2013 at 3:49 am
Haha…. You’re guilty of the ‘short blog’ which is cool, but you’re really good at expressing yourself, and I often wish you gave us more words. You’re like the ride at the amusement park that ends too soon, and I have to go line up again 😉 Meant as a compliment of course.
June 13th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Taken as a compliment! And kudos on the 2nd blog. Overachieving much?
June 17th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
Love this post, you sum up the blogworld brilliantly! I try to make my posts at least 500 words long although I try not to make them too much longer for fear of boredom! I do occasional do short posts if it’s a quick ‘thank you’ or achievement type post. I don’t do the crossing out thing and your take on that is hilarious! I do occasionally reblog and if I get reblogged I consider that a compliment. And I am guilty of the odd guest post…. Oh dear, have failed miserably in your eyes then! By the way, found you via Tom Nardone… figured if he liked you then I would! 🙂
June 17th, 2013 at 4:21 pm
Uh oh. Certainly didn’t want bloggers to feel bad for not fitting in to my guidelines 😉 It’s important to remember that I am non-expert with zero qualifications to judge.
I am glad you stumbled across my site by way of Tom Nardone. Hopefully I can live up to his standard of ‘awesomeness’. 🙂
June 17th, 2013 at 6:48 pm
I’m sure you will – looking forward to more of your posts! And hey, sometimes those without any qualifications are the best judges…! Lol. 🙂
June 17th, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Totally agree with you on the word count of blogs – should not be over 1500 words, but should be substantial enough (500 words) to make it a “blog”. Pictures aren’t always necessary, but people reading blogs have a short attention span and like to have pictures to break up the chunks of text. But gratuitous picture placement is kind of annoying (of which I’m guilty).
June 17th, 2013 at 4:53 pm
Yeah, I think pics are a necessary evil. Gotta add some sugar to the message.
June 24th, 2013 at 2:46 am
I’ve only been a “blogger” for a few days now, but it looks like I have all this and more to look forward to. Hooray. I can almost guarantee perpetual blirritation with these things, so I’ll take it as a very generous heads-up, for which I thank you.
Cheers for taking the time to read my rambles, by the way!
June 24th, 2013 at 4:52 pm
No worries. Welcome, and good luck!
June 26th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
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June 27th, 2013 at 3:45 am
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